shawn : what say you?

Save the face

2010-05-27T01:24:00.005+08:00

What it could be? What could have changed a person so quickly?

We have not met for quite some time. He was one of my good friend. One of those who I have not heard him uttered any profanities since the day I knew him. Good conduct of himself.

Just, he replied me "FUCK YOU" on MSN while chatting. But he shocked me for more than a second. If anyone else were to say this, I'd just fuck him back and wouldn't give a damn. All, or rather, most guys do swear (I don't believe if anyone don't).

I don't feel anything, not upset at all. But just much disappointed about the changes a person could make.

For this, I wonder.
Is everyone acting nice at the very start? For some motive? Or is it that people do change for every moment in life?

BIA (i hope!)

2010-05-08T11:01:00.001+08:00

hey there,
i'm back here after for quite some time! not sure if i'd continue going on!

Been quite a happy man recently! Not sure if it's real happiness or subconsciously trying to be happy, either way, I'm still feeling good for now!

But recently, I feel left out. They don't feel so, but I do and I know it does. It just feels weird, as in an odd-one-out feeling. I don't really like it, and I'll probably try to avoid.

Anw, been super in love with this catchy song!

half-way done

2010-03-06T22:25:00.001+08:00

they said.
but am i?

Stop crying your heart out

2010-02-13T17:01:00.006+08:00

Uncle has really passed away.

I was in a middle of a badminton match, when I received the phone call from Mum, saying he slipped and fell and is hospitalized. For a moment, I was dumbfounded. My parents asked me not to visit him as they only allowed 3 visitors only. As I was walking back, I decided to go ahead to the hospital to visit him without my parents' knowledge. Me and Delia cousin called for him, but he didn't responded. All he did was lie there with closed eyes, breathing hard with slight movements from his legs. I felt the ache in there. Although we didn't like him then, but we grew up to realise his good intentions. In fact, we all loved him deep down.

Rest in peace. Life is really fragile.

One wave has hardly subsided, when another rises.
All this one go. Thanks, indeed.

And so, Sally can wait

2010-02-07T11:41:00.005+08:00

Things have been till now been very unlucky and bad for me.
Things are not going my way I want.

And I've been trying very hard - put on a facade. My friends are concerned bout me, I know.
When I'm all ready to escape, something happens that pulls me back, and I know it's not as easy as it seems.. I know I'm not in any way natural, but I'm trying my best not to. Trying..

And now, some friends wants to see here. Should I?

Within ourselves

2010-02-02T08:09:00.001+08:00

I've decided to make this place private.
At least, for awhile.
Some of them who are not supposed to know, knew about here.
I don't think I should show them my Achilles' heels.

Anyway, it'll be good.
To finally pen down the genuine feelings from inside, and not to contemplate whether am I supposed to say it out. And probably not care about anyone who asks about something I wrote.

Because I'm probably the only one who reads this.

Bad month!

2010-01-23T21:35:00.002+08:00

This month till now has been uber busy and suay for me! A bad start of 2010, I see. All things don't happen my way, and is really frustrating and pissing me off. And some friends go mocking and annoying me. Sometimes I really feel like flaring up, but always controlled myself.

Worst of all, I've just signed 2 weeks of "extras" for some lame reasons. Sigh. Tomorrow will be better. Argh, really a horrible month.

Anyway, just came home from brunch at Spruce with the girls. Initially thought was only with Tricia and Caleen, but turned out there were more people. Felt tired the entire day, dozed off a couple of times with them. I need rest and I'm like falling sick soon. And tomorrow shall probably be a cardio-workout day! Needa get back my 4s!

Zune-d.

2010-01-16T14:25:00.003+08:00

Finally it's here after 2 freaking months! I bought it from US Amazon!! Syncing my music, photos and videos inside now! Although as not MANY apps as Apple, but Microsoft here is also not that bad! At least it's not another Apple product you see out on the streets AGAIN!

Recurrence

2010-01-10T02:54:00.005+08:00

Same place, same table, same seat, same feelings. So much for reminding. It is just like the wound you fell down the steps was about to heal, and now it got brushed with something sharp. And thank you for rubbing salt on it.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away..
Now it looks as though they're here to stay..

Back.

2010-01-09T16:53:00.007+08:00

I'm finally back sailing from South China Sea. Had great experience and fun, but very very tiring. The stars there are really beautiful when seen in the total darkness, in the middle of no where, with totally no lights around us. Really it is. Singapore is too bright, thus the stars don't look nice here.

Elton John - Something About the Way You Look Tonight

Less pain than what I have imagined and expected, but twice as much felt as the last time.

A total joke.

2010-01-04T00:48:00.008+08:00

I'll always remember today where I made a total fool out of myself. Hah.

Anw, I will be sailing off to South China Sea on Wednesday for a couple of days. Take care, my friends. Bye!

The Wait

2010-01-03T19:57:00.001+08:00

How about you tell me what to do?

2010 The First

2010-01-03T15:21:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year guys, it's 2010 now! Can't believe it thou! I changed my blogskin too! Spent almost 2 hours editing the original template. It's time for a change.
PS: All the other widgets and linkbars are below!

Woke up few hours back, still having slight hangover from Caleen's PJ party last night. I'd say I have been having fun, eating, partying and boozing throughout the holidays and festivals, since Christmas Eve! So I really need to start my exercise regime!!!!

And I'm glad at least Weili believe I can keep up to my 2010 resolutions! One person is enough! :)

2009 The Last .

2009-12-31T04:08:00.010+08:00

This is probably my last post for this year. I'll say this year was one of the most eventful year of my life. Had loads of different types and kinds of life experience. Met many new and great friends. For this I must really thank all my friends around me. They've been a great help towards this clumsy, blur and ignorant fat ass here, and I really appreciate that.

I may be cheerful, insensitive, stupid, friendly, lame, happy-go-lucky, blur, funny, etc, but I hope you friends liked the happy moments I did to you, or the impressions you had most on me. Also pardon and forgive me the sad/irritated/frustrated/heart-wrenching/infuriating/pissed-off moments I caused on you. Sorry for having such a troublesome friend.

Ups and downs I'm in, I supposed I'm more of downs. I might have told some of you out there, solved or unsolved, I'm very happy you lent a listening ear when I needed one. Also thanks for your advices and those who made me laughed and brightened my day when I needed to. Sorry for the worries, but I'm fine, really I am.

Going on, I've quite a small number of achievements this year, but loads of failures and regrets to add on. Cliché it may sound, but I'm gonna proceed on to my resolutions. Everyone is doing it, so why not me?

Resolutions for 2010

The utmost achievement in my life is of course to shed some weight. Been trying hard for close to 10 years but not much results. Recently, I'm quite glad I've slimmed down by a lil', but not complacent at all. Initially was for the Phuket trip, but will continue to train hard.

For this, I will definitely do it, I promise.

Regrets. I've been living with regrets through-out my life. I had two major greatest regret in my life that's still bothering me. I hate that feeling, it sucked and it hurts. I missed the chances and opportunities so often. I don't think I'll be able to take the pain if that same thing happened to me again.

For this, I told myself never to live with regrets and let the same thing happen again. To put it another way, I will be able to die without regrets.

Selfish it may be, but I've made up my mind to do that. Sorry.

Foresee my future. I always do things without plans, acting very rashly. I think its time to change. Plan ahead, set my priorities, think what to do. Stay organised.

I'm quite sure if I have a set of rules and systems running while doing things, I'll be better.

Being late. I'm always late. It started when I was in secondary school. My CCA school teacher was too good to punish me when all of us were late. As a result, it became a habit and a norm for me to be late. I really need to get back my sense of urgency.

It will also cast a bad impression on people when you're late. I so need to plan my time and priorities properly. I'll change.

Vulgarities. I'm trying so hard to stop. The working environment I'm in is vulgarities-prone and is inevitable to accidentally utter them out. I'm not giving myself an excuse by the way.

Of course I know they're ugly by nature, and I'm really trying my best to cut down and eventually stop using them. I promise.

Savings. It's time for me to trouble about money at this age. I come to know money is indeed hard-earned. You need to experience before you really feel the need of money. Money is everything now. The society is very realistic. You'll speak louder if you have the money. If you're a poor sad bloke like me, you can just shut your mouth up and get lost.

I took a small step. I opened another savings account. I'll save up a regular amount of my pathetic salary per month. Not something big and great, but at least, I thought about my future and started.

Maintaining peace and health. I hope that all my friend, families and everyone to be in the best of health. Peace will in all parts of the world. I'm not like some "world-peace" hypocrite. But definitely not be happy to see anyone or a country to be diseased. Or wars be declared here and there.

World peace. Best health. My stand, always.

Lastly, I hope for a newer and better me. I don't know how to but I need to change. Okay, cut all the crap.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. WELCOME TO 2010.

Almost felt I've turned to a civilian.

2009-12-28T23:51:00.005+08:00

I've been on leave for almost a week, but felt as if I've done with what I'm currently doing now. The feeling is of course damn shiok, partying, eating, shopping or even sleeping like nobody's business. During this period, everything was great, enjoying every moment with my friends. I even got to know a couple of new friends. Before I went on leave, I told myself not to think of anything else, and enjoy myself. I hoped I did, but tomorrow I'll be back to normal life again.

And I knew I can't hide it longer. They all kept probing and wanted to know, and so I told them yesterday finally for the first and last time. Didn't wanted to tell anyone when nothing is happening yet. I felt much better, of course the problem is still not solved. Arghhhhh. Freaking troubled and pisssssssssssed.

Btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELIX CHANG! LOVE YOU!

"It takes something real strong to bring me down, but all it took was you - my Achilles' heel."

MERRY X'MAS!

2009-12-25T14:59:00.002+08:00

Just woken up. But still feeling tired over yesterday's stay-over X'mas Party at Bea's place! We had fun, booze, food and games all night. It was very fun! We were so noisy playing this "ti-ti-ti" game until the police came and warned us! Apparently, someone complained about us! LOL.

Anw..

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Shall share my all-time favourite X'mas song that I'd listen every X'mas w/o fail!

It's not easy.

2009-12-21T22:39:00.006+08:00

Had HTHT with my dearest Da Sao when we went for dinner just now. Girls be girls. She's good enough to guess what's bothering in me.
I wish I could forget. But she knew I just can't do it. Thanks anw for the talk, my friend, well appreciated.

My mp3 issue is finally settled after so long, I saved $50 and the fee was waived off! It'll come to Singapore very soon from California! I should be happy, don't I? But it doesn't seem so, why?

Cause when I with her, I am thinking of you....

Never had a such sunday after a long time..

2009-12-20T23:52:00.002+08:00

I had so much fun with the 3 of them, including Weili who is not in the picture. I need more of these.

爱要怎么说出口

2009-12-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

赵传 - 爱要怎么说出口

Much appreciation

2009-12-16T23:03:00.009+08:00

Prior to the phuket trip, I had to pay double the price at work. So much so I have already fallen sick. Sneezing nonstop through the day sucks. Almost died.

Had a long phone chat with both of them 2 days ago. We didn't had chats like that for many years already, especially one used to be my chatting kaki years ago. Anw, I was damn tired that night, especially doing duty for straight 2 days after coming back from my Phuket trip. But the chats sure made my night. And I realised I have not met up and had a good talk with them for a very long time.

Many things kills me. But luckily for my group of friends, it'd temporary ease those pain.

For now, thanks for that night, my girl-friends. :)

Back from Phuket!

2009-12-13T20:45:00.006+08:00

I'm finally back! Didn't really mention it here, but my dear and close friends should know! We all agreed the trip is really too short! Took loads of photos, but I'm really too tired to upload. I believe I'm the only one of of them 4 who are still blogging and FB-ing now! All should be snoring in bed right now! Phuket photos soon!!!

Anw, our Threadless tees are here now! 3 are mine, 2 for Felix! We ordered them during some festival promotion thingy, so one costed only USD$9!

Not your kind.

2009-11-23T21:40:00.000+08:00

Was reading Kanye West's site 2 days back and found these interesting stuffs.
Thought of sharing some. But a pity most very nice ones contains nudity and didn't want to put it in here.
Hearing your comments.

Malgosia Bela by Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott

Stella McCartney for GAP Kids

Alexander Wang's Show

Art by Richard Haines

Masha Novoselova by Tesh for Vogue Germany November 2009

Hiroshi Fujiwara’s fragment design Custom Rolex Oyster Perpetual Air-King

COMME des GARCONS HOMME DEUX for Fall/Winter 2009 Editorial in Pen Magazine

Lady Gaga & Hello Kitty Photoshoot

Chanel Lightbulb Heels

Lady Gaga by Nobuyoshi Araki

Steven Meisel for Vogue Italia

Velvet October 2009 - Il Futuro Futurista - GULP!

Raquel Zimmermann by Mario Sorrenti

Isabel Neumair "Eauphorisch" for Tush Magazine

Spring 2010 | PETROU/MAN

Kinga Rajzak Vogue UK October

Balmain Homme Spring 2010

Comme

Jean Paul Gaultier Kids

Marc by Marc Jacobs Spring/Summer 2010 Collection

Aline Weber by Txema Yeste for V Spain

Burberry Black Label 2009 Fall/Winter Photoshoot

The Club

Persuader Bag by James Piatt

Almost emptied.

2009-11-22T14:08:00.009+08:00

I nearly forgot I had a blog.
Loads many things happened during.
Good and bad.
Gush of emotions, rush of time.
Done with solitary.
Depressed and emo occasionally.
Pissed off with most of them.
Wish to be happy always.
Friends do cheer me up most of the time though.
Fatigued and weary.
Regretted that flare-up.
Learning to be less cocky and arrogant.
And not to carry much high hopes.
Still worried when the results are definite.
Trying not to think about that anymore.
Eventually give it all up.

It's almost empty, soon.

071009.

2009-10-07T02:00:00.008+08:00

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, BEATRICE TAN!
Hoped you enjoyed the party, and had fun.

& also wishing VALERIE TAN a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY too!

I'm gonna mia for a short period of time, to let me think about ..
Bye people.

good things don't last.

2009-10-04T02:10:00.006+08:00

Trish, you wanted this, don't you? and here you go.. :)

Hah random. I kinda like this photo, the lion is darn cute. LL took this photo few months ago, only managed to send it to me few days back.

but the ride could at least last longer, or forever?

DO KIND, FEEL KIND.

2009-10-04T01:44:00.002+08:00

Friday and Saturday, i went to Fernvale Garden School to help out as community service. It's a school for the intellectually disabled, but the kids there are uber cute! One held my hand when i passed by him, that's so funny!

Friday, we set up the whole place for preparations for Saturday's Family Day. I was there from 0930 to 2030. We were in charge of setting up a Ghost House to scare those kids. We racked our brains together with the brains of a bubbly teacher, we created a maze for the kids to walk thru. We guys were so afraid that we would scare the wits out of those kids, but the teacher thought it wasn't scary enough. HAHA.

Sat, it was a great day. Many kids came together with their families. Hoped the kids have fun, I was truly satisfied and felt a sense of completion. I guess it's to compensate the bad things i did to my recruits in camp. :D

The environment made me missed schooling.

KIDS MAKE ME SMILE. :)

Someone save me.

2009-09-27T19:55:00.003+08:00

Just reached home, going camp soon already. It's a short day for me. Early afternoon, I treated dad and mum to Fortunate Restaurant for dim sum. I suddenly craved for it, and thus asked them along and offered to treat them. It cost me 70 bucks but it was rather worth the money, food was delicious.

Then visited Aunt who was admitted to hospital. There was a swell on her leg, but luckily she's alright now. She brought me up, and I really can't bear to see any of my close ones be in any trouble.

Nowadays, I'm been really tired. No one can really understand. No time to rest, and loads of tasks and appointments to take up. I'm starting to feel the stress and workload of my job, holding to 3 major appointments and performing the tasks concurrently. And gym at night. It's killing me.

Sometimes, i just feeling like talking to someone.. And this let me recall back the days where i call Caleen Quek almost everyday during school days, so much so she knows almost everything about me. Haha. But talking to her now is weird. Lol.

Life is bored and without motivation there.. But i'll press on, for I have a target! :)

Youtube day.

2009-09-27T10:41:00.003+08:00

The whole of yesterday i've been YouTubing acoustic covers and funny videos. I must say it's really rather addictive for the whole day. In between, I've watched The Wedding Game. It was a rather nice, light hearted love comedy. Seldom i see couples in real life filming in movies. I can see how good a couple they are together. Fann's really pretty, Christopher's really good-looking. Wishing them all the best for their real wedding on Tuesday.

I didn't make go out the whole day. I was waiting the whole day for many 'somebodies' to be available, until at night, which i finally decided not to. That explains why I was on youtube the whole day. And I'm totally in love with this artist named Marie Digby, she's pretty and sings well! She's half Jap!

Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come To An End)

Natalia Imbruglia - Torn

Coldplay - The Scientist

Totally in love with this song.

Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start..

I'm tired already.

Friends: Much Filtered.

2009-09-22T00:35:00.004+08:00

230809.

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

2009-09-21T16:51:00.003+08:00

Watched The Time Traveler's Wife yesterday. Awesome movie. It was even more touching than what I expected. To be honest, my eyes were teary at certain parts of the show. I was feeling sad on how hard they both have to see each other, but their love's still going strong..

On top of that, Class 95 just have to play my favourite song at that time.. That's why I never like to listen Class 95 when i'm feeling down, it makes feel you even down. The 2 different songs I like, with the same titles..

Shakin Stevens - Because I Love You

If I got down on my knees and I pleaded with you
If I crossed a million oceans just to be with you
Would you ever let me down?

If I climbed the highest mountain just to hold you tight
If I said that I would love you every single night
Would you ever let me down?

Well I'm sorry if it sounds kinda sad, it's just that
Worried, so worried
that you let me down

Chorus: Because I love you, love you
Love you, so don't let me down

If I swam the longest river just to call your name
If I said the way I feel for you would never change
Would you ever fool around

Well I'm sorry if it sounds kinda bad, just that
Worried, cuz' I'm so worried
that you let me down

Chorus

Well I'm sorry if it sounds kinda bad, just that
Worried, cuz' I'm so worried
that you let me down

Stevie B - Because I Love You (The Postman Song)

I got your letter from the postman just the other day
And so I decided to write you this song
Just to let you know, exactly the way I feel
To let you know my love's so real ...

Because I love you, I'll do anything
I'll give you my heart, my everything
Because I love you, I'll be right by your side
To be a light, to be your guide

If you should feel that I don't really care
And that you're starting to lose ground
Let me reassure you that you can count on me
And that I'll always be around

Because I love you, my heart's an open door
So won't you please come on in
Because I love you, I'll be right by your side
To be a light, to be your guide

Am really tired.

2009-09-20T13:31:00.002+08:00

Tired not only physically but also mentally. Lots and lots of things are running through my head, and probably should slow down for a moment.

I just came back from my 2nd primary school gathering. All thanks to Valerie for organising it. We went to Pow Sing restaurant first, then went to Liquid Kitchen to chill. Headed to Jestyn's place to mahjong. People like us who knows nothing abt mahjong went there to get some old photos to have a good laugh at.

Our 1st YZPS gathering. (310709)

Nur and Gilbert.

Valerie and Jingyi.

My best female friend in pri sch.

Our 2nd YZPS gathering. (190909)

That's Jingxian and Jialong, who became very skinny through the years.

Desmond, one of best friend in pri sch.

Jingxian, Valerie, Jinyi. Weishun and Valerie.

That's camera-shy Melvin on the left.

The things we wrote, and the way we think, then.

Had a great time. Thanks guys.

Also thanks to Desmond for 'digging' such photos. Everyone looks young and foolish here. Esp. me who looked ridiculously funny.

一起走過的日子

2009-09-13T22:02:00.001+08:00

Satisfaction.

2009-09-13T19:36:00.000+08:00

Finally my first batch of recruits have officially POP-ed. Was a tired and long stay-in week. Seriously need a good rest. But felt a sense of achievement, just like how a parent would feel towards his/her son. I had fun, hoped they had fun too.

While reading their commander appraisals for me, I was smiling.

"I like your smiles, keep smiling."
"Like to smile alot when he see us. Like to ask why are we also smiling, then knock us down."
"Friendly and nice sgt."
"Best sgt here!"
"Always smiling, but quite fierce when get serious."
"Funny guy. Fav phrase - Shut up lah."

I can't control smiling, I just feel happy seeing them.
I don't know why i smile so often, but i hoped and am glad you guys liked my smiles.
They are a bunch of good and obedient boys/soldiers i guess. Sometimes, not.

During the POP, while taking photos, many thanked me. Furthermore, what makes me feel even good, is when their parents come thanking me, "Sgt Shawn, thanks ah, for training my son to become a man." One of them whose parent didn't come, asked me to put on the beret for him instead. The moment i put it on for him, I felt "all my boys have grown up".

It's my first batch thats probably why I feel so happy.

Thanks, my 02/09 batch.

What a fine but yet boring day.

2009-09-06T21:14:00.013+08:00

I'm guilty for causing such damages and changes to them, to everything. Off system scraped, stay-in from now on. Maybe it all started and happened from that act. Didn't thought that little action of mine could cause serious repercussions. Okay, let's not talk about it.

Hmm, this weekend was bored. Never really enjoyed it.

Today was quite okay. I was a good boy and accompanied my parents to the market and help carry some of the groceries. I got myself an Armani specs. Soon you'll know how good is it.

Then went ahead to pay respect to my grandparents. I'm freaking suay this start of September, since loads of shit-things happened(i'm fucking pissed alr. argh. kay i'm chilled.). Other than the usual stuffs, I also prayed that my days ahead would be better. After that, and since no one wanted to go out with me today, I followed Mum and Dad to uncle's house for dinner. Not sure since when did I love home-cooked food, but I sure enjoy the feeling everytime I had food like those. Probably it's been years since I've really ate it often.

Went on to Chinatown to get some stuffs like shampoo, facial wash, etc. from this wholesale store. It's really damn cheap. If I'm a girl, I would love it since there are so many cheap stuff like cosmetics for sale.

I just felt a filial son today.

Please, let everything I do now go on smoothly, some things that I foresee not happen. :(

Well-appreciated.

2009-09-03T02:08:00.003+08:00

WOW. Felix and Leeleng, this should be the FIRST time you commented my blog ever since you knew I've got a blog huh. I'm actually quite surprising eh. HAHA.

Don't worry, I'm not really emo lah. I just had some thoughts and feelings over the chat with that day. Just recalled how much she hurt me then, and just wanted to write it down that's all. I've told you before, but I think you've forgotten already.

Another thing, that makes me really feel appreciated is during Instructors' Day in camp. They actually nominated me for the Best Instructors' Award. I was one of the few who got nominated. I don't recalling going on stage getting any prizes/awards in my life.

I didn't mind the foolish sexy pose that i striked in front of all my trainees and the whole camp. But this is my first batch of recruits I'm taking, and this is of very high importance to me. Most of them looked up to me. I always thought I sucked in this role, was the lousiest sergeant around.

But this just told me i'm doing the right things and heading the right direction. Hasn't wasted my efforts in smiling and treating them well. Thanks to them. Am really touched. :)

I like her, but does she?

2009-08-30T14:40:00.000+08:00

Just a week ago, me and our Angel (heh!) met for dinner first, before meeting Weili. Over dinner, both of us spoke about many things, from studies all the way to relationships. Haha.

We talked about her, and joked it over. I've been randomly thinking about it through this week, recalling vividly the details of every significant events that happened concerning her.

She's a girl I'll never forget. A girl I once admired so so so so so so so so much.
I'd slowly drop hints which she never understood. Or just purely choosing to ignore.
Beside her is always tagged by capable suitors that I can never compare with.
They are all talented, good looking (maybe not all, but at least better off than me) and slim.
To me, she's just the perfect girl, that everyone wants.
Never forgetting how funny it was to get the palpitating heartbeats whenever i bump into her.
To her, I guess I might just be a nobody. Or merely a life buoy to hold on whenever she needs it. (A rather fat and stable one, huh? hah.)
We once compared the sizes of our palms, then, I felt so fortunate to have actually touched her tiny hands. That's hilarious.
Many times, I wanted to asked her out but I didn't dare to. Many times, I wanted to call her up, but I didn't dare to. Many times, I wanted to confess to her, but I still didn't dare to. :((
Patiently and silently waiting for hours to get her reply over text messages and on MSN. But she did not replied for most of the times. :(
Then, I sought the help of this friend to help ask what she felt about me. Although I already knew the answer, but I still wanted to know.
I believed she knew I was interested in her, but didn't cared.
I listened carefully to my friend the message she conveyed to me, it was more like a indirect rejection. 'No feelings at all' - is what derived from their conversation.
At that moment, I learnt a new phrase in school that i thot I could use - unrequited love.
I'll never forget, together with that particular painful song my friend intro-ed me at that time, I teared.
Yes, I did. She really broke my heart, deep deep deep down. Very painful, then.

Everytime there's someone new, I'm always so afraid that history would just repeat itself. And well, along the years, it has sure proven my fears so damn right. All the girls, I believe, are the same.

Of course, I don't have feelings about her anymore, I just felt like saying these out. I guess both of us are still considered friends now? But just disappointed about her vast changes. Hmm.. Also thanks to LL who talked with me about it.

I just hope history will not repeat itself at the next one.

R. Kelly - If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time

This song always get me thinking of..

:)

2009-08-25T02:04:00.003+08:00

Argh.

Today I was on leave, leave as in the one i personally applied for. But I totally forgot about it, and stayed in camp until it was near knock-off time.

Then met up with Leeleng and Weili for dinner, and had a fun chat together.

Kinda wasted leave and my whole day there!
Nonetheless I'm still feeling HAPPY. Still can smile while looking in the mirror! TEEHEEEEEE! :D

Miss You Like Crazy.

2009-08-23T22:11:00.001+08:00

Natalie Cole.

The Moffatts.

Off day at home.

2009-08-21T16:41:00.005+08:00

What a wasted and bored off day. Friends are either working or studying, everyone been rejecting me since.
It's okay, I'll stay at home to rest then. Been really tired after all the exhausting events.

I just came back from facial. It was actually my sis's package, but i just go whenever I'm free since Mum said we could share. Then had my Double Fillet with shaker fries. I know it's fattening but I really craved long enough for it. I ordered the same after the Lady Gaga concert but the Mac person didnt give me the shaker fries! Darn!

I've been listening to Kenny G - Love Ballads album i bought 1 to 2 months ago. He's really awesome.

What a price to pay for watching GI.Joe. Somehow I feel all the mess and blame is on me.

You don't know.

2009-08-20T22:15:00.003+08:00

Recently, lots of things have went through my head. Many things have happened.

Sometimes I don't even know what I am doing.
Am I even doing the right thing?
Is it even worth doing?
What are the consequences?

I don't think I will find an answer. Sometimes, it feels just like saying "Hello", and nobody replies. Maybe I'm just physically and mentally tired that's all, or maybe I'm not.

I'm lost and stucked. But I need no help.

Shagged-legged.

2009-08-16T12:10:00.002+08:00

Just reached home after running AHM/Safra Bay Run. Ran for 10km and had to pay for it. It was my first official marathon actually. There were lots and lots of people, mainly made up of people from army units, and surprisingly quite a handful of ladies as well. Met a couple of familiar faces too.

My speed and timing dropped, was rather disappointed. My legs muscles cramped towards the end, and were tight. I've probably been eating and slacking too much. I must train up. Or it could be the tiredness from last night. Went to Zouk last night with Selene, Vincent and Dominique, in support of Beatrice's NUS event.

Came back home like 1am, slept at 2am and woke up at 5am. Damn, tonight still gotta book in. I'm off to sleep already.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA.

2009-08-10T14:47:00.007+08:00

I AM GOING TO SEE LADY GAGA! :)

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!

Just like Russell.

2009-08-10T00:49:00.009+08:00

Just came back from Vivo watching Up the movie. They were all laughing at me while watching the movie. They say I look exactly like Russell, the cute and fat boy in the movie when i was younger. Thanks ah. Damn. I guess i'm still fat. :(

Trailer.

Okay, i admit by just a bit (the double/triple chin i presume) but i guess he's much more cuter than me.

There you go, the 'good' old days..

Well, I have not mentioned that we celebrating Leeleng's birthday. This post is probably dedicated to her. I knew her since sec 3, where we were dancing partners. That was really classic and hilarious. Hah. I got to know her better after she was together with Kelvin. We even had a fun trip to Genting together a year ago. Thou she's a bit violent (opps!), but she is nice, often hanging out with us, the whole bunch of guys and didnt mind. It looks like as if you have like one whole bunch of boyfriends to take care of. HAHA. You are the PERFECT housewife-to-be that will do all the household chores (a 黄脸婆? but pretty one lah.) Lucky Kelvin. :)

Lastly, just wanna add, YOU ARE NOT FAT AT ALL. Don't do unnecessary things to slim yourself down, alright? Okay just to wish you HAPPY 21st! And you're always be our 大嫂/Ah Lau/LL (whatever nicknames)!

Even more photos at my Facebook..

Sick like shit.

2009-08-04T22:55:00.015+08:00

Have been having diarrhoea for the past few days. I went out with Caleen for lunch last weekend, and had been visiting the toilet for like 2-3 days times already for just that short period. Luckily, it was Caleen and not my crush or eyecandy, if not it'll be damn embarrassing!

I guess it might be the strawberry sundae icecream i ate after hokkien mee last friday with those primary school friends at Chomps. Sheesh.

I just visited a doc, confirmed it has nothing to do with H1N1. Phew! But I still couldn't curb my temptation and bought myself a Double Filet-O-Fish meal with shaker fries!! It's damn shiok, i swear! I know i'm sick, but f it! :)

Everyone in this society makes use of everyone, don't you agree?
Everyone has a value.
When you're no more of use value, you're dumped to the furthest end of the world. It's that cruel, don't deny the fact.

WHEN I NEED YOU.

2009-08-03T01:37:00.003+08:00

"When I need you, I just close my eyes and I'm with you.."

Wonderful.

2009-08-02T03:09:00.005+08:00

Had a really wonderful year. Recalling all the new people I've met, things I did and experienced, feelings I felt, places I went, knowledge I gained and many more.. All were great memories, so I'd most probably picture them down.

No doubt, some are happy, some are sad. But it has indeed been a great year for me. I have many people to express thanks to. Thanking them for coming into my life and making it good for me. On average, I usually stay happy and cheerful all the time, unless some things that strike my mind/heart.

My priority still stands - family and friends. Both are equally important to me. Now I just hope my 21st wishes and resolutions could come real true. Also thanks to all for creating the best 21st for me. You know.

With much appreciation and love,
Shawn.

祝我生日快乐.

2009-07-29T23:50:00.001+08:00

Thanks guys who celebrated my 21st with me! All of you made an impact in my life! Thanks again. Without fail each year, this song again..

Ouch, it hurts.

2009-07-28T14:13:00.015+08:00

Just came back from camp. Just felt like coming home, to somewhere quieter.
Everything's just a facade, everything that seems okay doesn't.
Didn't want to listen to the songs, and drown myself in my own sea of sorrow.
Couldn't control the temper myself, poor them have to get all the shit from me.
I haven't had this feeling for a very long time, and I hate it.
Closed eyes and clenched fist at the thought of it. And a bit of soreness.
It just have to happen everytime.
And I'll never forget words that killed me.
Oh, what a dream.

Angels flew me up, (i reckon it's a birthday gift) and now it's time to come down.
Ouch, it really do.

Gone, but not dead.

2009-07-25T03:00:00.004+08:00

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry for being MIA-ing for like close to 2 months! Been really busy or you could simply call it lazy! Heh.

Hmm. Lots of things happened during this period time. Let's just start with camp. (boring....)

I'm dominating as a instructor in Changi Naval Base giving my recruits a hard time. But of course I am a nice person to start with. (serious!) I'm just trying my best to be a bad guy so as to hide the kind side of me. That's pretty tough, you know! Meanwhile, I am too enjoying good life there (except for some of -ve things) as well. Can't reveal too much information or even show you pictures. (but don't envy me too much!)

Other than that, I've been hanging out with my friends every weekend, still cherishing every weekend with them. Taking photos became our hobby, or should say it was mine to start with?! Hah. And did I mention mum and dad bought me Canon EOS 500D, my newest 'toy' for my birthday! I'm totally loving it! It's Kit II - 18-200mm lens, mind you! SHIOKKKKK. The more i say the more i high. Okay, chill.

I also influenced the friends around me to like taking pictures, which in turn triggered them to buying cameras.

I've been trying to live every single day of my life happily and healthily - drinking as much water as i could, eating Vitamin Cs, exercising (running and gyming), sleeping early and smiling whenever i can. Being happy don't cost a thing. There were emo and bad times too, I am only but human. Everyone has it, epecially together with emo songs. I'd be fine the next moment.

But of course the only thing is that I smile too much, especially in front of my trainees, when I'm supposed to be stern! Trying real hard!

But the fact is that some things and people just simply make me SMILE at the thought of it/them. I always remember. :)

(more pictures could found on my facebook.)

2 random 周杰倫's songs.

周杰倫 - 開不了口

周杰倫 - 我不配

A very long and boring week.

2009-06-07T15:47:00.008+08:00

A few days ago, it was 1st June yet again. Never a year would i forget this day, her beautiful birthday. I remember mentioning some things about her last year and now 1 freaking year have passed so quickly! We haven met for a very long time but I'll cut the crap, and wishing her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :)

Of course, not forgetting to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LICHUAN!

Anyway, this week in camp is boring. But i could feel the stress now, can't imagine what to expect in future. What's hardest for me is to display and portray a 2-faced me in and outside of office. I believe I'll change quite alot at the end. Way to learn, Shawn. I can only say having the 3 stripes on my arms aren't that easy afterall.

Went to watch Monsters & Aliens yesterday with the gang. Thou cartoon-like, but it was really hilarious, especially Bob the jelly-like monster! HAHA. Then we walked around the area and finally arrived at Harry's Bar at The Esplanade. Had some drinks while we chatted away. I guess my Dirty Harry is still the best! Some of them was probably partially drunk i guess? And also had some kind of 'funny' experience.

Anyways, jiayou to Kokboon and Felix. You know i know. :D

I want nobody, nobody but you.

2009-05-30T15:03:00.019+08:00

I haven been updating this blog. Been really lazy!! Okay, i already a 3SG, been posted to Changi Naval Base as a instructor training recruits! I'm now part of the Navy, but i'm still infantry and is already missing infantry's chionging, SOC and route marches. Currently, i think i love my job, and i believe i still will until i ORD. Heh. :D

Let me post some super duper outdated pictures.. I'll post the Thailand trip photos at a later time, cuz there's alot. I'm not allowed to post some of the cool & nice but yet restricted photos.

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo. How 'bout you, you, you?
You can come too, too, too. We're going to zoo, zoo, zoo.

The cuties..

My fav.

A crazy woman, i dont think i know her. :)

Dinner @ Giraffe for Weili's birthday.

Awww.. Shoooo sweeeettttt. :)

Us too. :D

The guy whose late for his friend's birthday. :)

sabai dee mai?

2009-05-17T21:43:00.004+08:00

Yeah, i'm back from Thailand after almost 3½ weeks of hell and torture (not really actually). Walking and walking, nothing but walking. It's not easy as i thought, but i survived it afterall.

Other than training, overall is alright. Hot weather indeed. Can go 3-5°C hotter than SG. Killer. It's no use bathing, only the moment is shiok, cuz when you're out, you perspire again. But the camp is huge. Canteen food is really a-roy, at unexpectedly cheap prices. Cheap prices doesnt only apply to food, other stuffs too! And together with the 2 famous pretty canteen babes. Canteen's my fav. hangout place! Not forgetting our famous Jenny too! (the trans!) And mango trees there are everywhere, you could pluck the mangoes! Most of them are damn sweet!!! The bunks and toilet are... errr.. And flies are everywhere when rain comes. I'm SERIOUS. LOTS AND LOTS OF THEM. EVERYWHERE. WHEN THEY DIE, LAGI WORSE, THEIR WINGS ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!!! DAMN DISGUSTING. Their armies and nests all come! Eeeek.

Outside camp, you could see farms with animals like cows, horses, dogs, etc. Everything seems so natural. Grannies, with small kids saying hello to you, when you walk past. I regretted not bringing a camera with me, so i could take shots of everything.

All the experience and fun I had in there are really valuable. Especially the first IV drip i had in the medical center, after suffering from heat exhaustion and high fever. Me, someone so afraid of needles had one on my arm staying there for 2½ days, and had re-pokes due to some blood clots on my arm. I was perspiring under aircon because of the re-pokes. Scary shit.

I come to cherish water and food in the 7 days exercise, as you have to ration it well and evenly for the 7 days. And also sharing hot milo/milk tea, prawn/curry noodles with buddies in the night. Shiok. Thailand is unpredictable. It's damnnnnn hot in the day, and it's damnnnnn cold in the night. When there's thunder and you see lightning with dark clouds, most of the time the sun will come out shortly. How weird it is. But there's really rain, you either get a long splitter-spatter rain or a heavy one that comes with strong wind, so strong that you feel the pain when the rain hits onto you. And you can't hide under a tree like SG, because Thailand don't have much vegetation there. They have lots of plantations instead.

I would say people in Thailand are really hospitable and friendly. You see trucks/bikes with families bringing small kids selling drinks and foods. They are my favourite! Not supposed to buy, but.. *ehem*. To put it simple, this Thailand trip is great! Thanks to all friends that had helped me in all ways! A pity R&R wasn't long enough to finish shopping my stuffs! I'll be back to Thailand again, this time as a holiday!

Wow, i noticed i haven been updating! More photos soon! And 5 more days to 3SG! POP (again) LOH!

Sawasdee kaa.

2009-04-23T15:54:00.002+08:00

Bye guys. Packing a bit of stuffs, and leaving for the airport later. Thailand for overseas training, so don't ask me to buy stuffs! Like how my cousin wanted me to buy some cheap lingerie for them, my mum or sis! If i really did, i'm sure i'm gonna be laughed at by the customs and my friends! Imagine my bag full of bras and panties. LOL! It's a BIG NO NO! Gonna be remembered for life lah! HAHA.

Gonna be tough i know, but i'll surely complete it! When i'm back, i'm gonna be there to enjoy.... Bye friends and families, you know who you are, you guys are definitely be missed. Hope mum would not be so worried for me.

23 April - 16 May. Wait for me ah. :)

0857.

2009-03-29T19:54:00.003+08:00

This has been a great and almost-PERFECT week for me!

Experienced how an instructor is like at the start of the week. It's not that easy as i thot. Learnt loads of things, which in turn motivated me to be one good sergeant.

I think this had helped me in some way to clear my SOC at a timing of 0857 mins. I had never passed since I was in BMT until then. Had improvements but usual timings were like 11-12mins. This had been one of the few achievements i had in life. During the last rundown, i was totally shag and almost close to giving up.

But what was in my head throughout the 600m run was all about not staying back this saturday for remedial training and thinking of my friends. Okay, and abit of today's Zoo outing. I almost died when i reached the endpoint. Legs hurting and lying flat on the floor with open arms and legs. Those are all my motivations, and i guess they really helped me alot.

Thanks to my friends. :)

Anyways...

We played Left 4 Dead yesterday, while waiting to watch Street Fighter: Legends of Chun Li. We bought Leeleng's ticket but she didnt turn out later! LOL. But then, L4D is seriously funnnn!!!

And like what I said, me, Leeleng, Kokboon and Felix went to the Zoo today! Felix is finally back from his Taiwan trip! Had fun taking quite abit of pictures. Had the scorching sun and pouring rain as well. Hah. It was quite a cool trip there since i haven been to the Zoo since my primary school's excursion. Shall post the pictures soon.

BTW I SMELL SOMETHING BURNING! AND IT'S MY NEXT WEEKEND...
Lots and lots of outfields coming! Cya guys on next-next week. ;(

Clamped in between the human noises.

2009-03-21T17:10:00.003+08:00

As it's almost halfway through, I feel the intense from within. I'm starting to fear and worry, with stress and pressure slowly building up, and killing the inner me. The outer me is all nothing but facade.

I claim to say and act as if nothing has happened. But it's not what it seemed. I had always imagined the worst case scenario, and I foresee the future - FAILURE. Everything in there looked so real. Everytime I wanted to give my best, but everytime it never fails to demoralize me.

Current problems has yet been solved, and more challenges are coming. I fear. Really.

BIG IN JAPAN

2009-03-15T15:58:00.004+08:00

This week is soooooo packed with activities. And I even get to book out on Friday early afternoon because of off-in-lieu planned for us.

Just a slight touch on the route march on Tuesday. It was called 'Pride of The Infantry March'. Indeed pride for such a tough route. But it wasn't as terrible as the 28km I had 1 month ago. During the march, the route never seemed to end, all you can do is just to keep walking.

This time I did lots of preparations. Had double boots insoles and even wore swimming trucks/tights. This could very much reduce blisters and abrasions, but not totally prevent it from forming. My feet didn't had much blisters for once since the many route marches i walked! Double insoles felt so cushioned like running shoes, and it's OWNING! :D

The river crossing part was actually quite shiok, but once you leave the river and continue walking... Eeeeeeeek and yuckssssssssss. But overall, I'm very happy this week!

----------------------------------------------

Yesterday went out to change my passport to the new one, since they say the old one couldn't be further extended. The queue was soooo damn long.

After that, went out with Shaoqi and Leeleng. Headed to the IT show at Suntec. It's really sooooo packed with people lah!! Had many things in mind to buy, but I just need the dough. Kokboon and Weili joined us later after work. Weili went home later while the rest of us watched Dragonball Evolution. It was not too bad, but I felt that the scenes happened a little too abrupt. Last but not least, Jamie Chung and Emmy Rossum are way too hot in the movie, don't they?! Haha!

Btw, Jamie do look abit like Lucy Liu huh? And Emmy abit like Anne Hathaway? Whatcha think?

Best week I had! Will even be happier if the photos be processed by next week! :)

HEY!

2009-03-07T15:17:00.008+08:00

Hey all! I'm still alive, don't worry! As usual, I've been very busy hanging out with my friends and also with army life. So much so that I became lazier every weekend to update this little space of mine.

Saying a bit on army, I think I've became even worn-out since the course started. I can expect more toughness to come, just like the another 32km march with river-crossing on this coming Tuesday. Shit.

Luckily, my buddies has been rather good. Especially with secondary school bed buddy, Aaron, who is there to talk cock and joke with. Just like few days ago, we did our first 10km run test together under an hour. It was amazing how we both lousy runners completed it! I clocked somewhere around 52 mins. To train for this run, I think we ran over 30-40km in total thru the week. It wasn't that hard to complete the run, but it also wasn't that easy to endure through either. But I think I gonna run another 10km sometime again! Anyone? :D

Alright alright alright. Stop the army boredness.

To be honest, I couldn't remember the many events I did during the weeks. But I still could recall what happened 1-2 weeks ago. Hmm. An outing for Felix who is heading to Taiwan for 1 whole month. Good luck.

A friend that has been MIA-ing for a period of time.

Signature smile.

Always trying gentlemen and innocent.

3SG Felix.

The girl who shuns the cam whole day long.

I like those group shots. :)

Kelvin.. Errr.

Ending the photos with.. errr. :D

Although the photos wasn't that professionally taken, but I glad my camera worked, just really the hassle of buying film rolls and processing the photos. I had fun, guys!

Running doesn't train your endurance, it reveals your endurance.

Take me somewhere far away.

2009-02-16T22:35:00.005+08:00

Back to camp again tomorrow early morning. Sigh. :(

Yesterday night went out with Dad and Mum to 店小二 at Vivo for dinner. It was not too bad actually and quite cheap too. 3 persons for only 70 bucks. And I was seriously limping all the way in pain. Met up with Weili and Kok Boon to watch Underworld: Rise of The Lycans. It was quite nice. I love movies that features the undead, esp. creatures like werewolves and vampires. Cool shit! :)

And just, met up with them again for dinner at The Cathay at some nice Japanese restaurant at the basement. Most of the sushi costs only 99 cents! I ordered 7 plates, in additional with some sprite float and a plate of blackforest cake. Delicious! :)

I'm quite into photography recently. Trying to gain some experience with my dad's Canon EOS 630 first before getting into DSLR. His SLR looks rather cool actually, but just the hassle of going down to the shops to process the photos. I heard this quite a good rated SLR. But currently, he's figuring out if the cam is still in working condition as it's been unused for many many many years already. :)

I find that recently I really have lots of things in mind to spend on. I want to have a car license, buy a car, a watch, a DSLR cam, a computer... and the list just goes on. Everything requires money. I'm so gonna cut down on my expenses.

Friends.

2009-02-16T10:31:00.000+08:00

I had wanted to write this entry so long ago, even before I've enlisted. This is just a entry to ponder about. Cheers.

And so, how do/would you define the word, FRIENDS?

People who will be by your side when you're in need of help, or, people who will only come up to you when they need your help?

Along the years, I've seen much. I used to be naive and thought that people are all the same. I always believed that if you treat people well, they'll be nice to you as well. Sometimes you just don't get back what you should. Reciprocation is just not there. And that's just part of human nature and life.

I still remember days in poly, I had this rather good friend of mine. He appears to be nice, but gave a one good stab on my back. That moment I was rather shocked, but didn't really had much emotions like how girls do. He didn't tell me, nor did I ask him. He's wrong, not me. We're still good friends now, but not really in contact. The point is, this incident got me to see the different sides of people - being pretentious.

Have you also met with situations when some people you have not talked or met for ages, who suddenly texts you or comes up in either MSN, Facebook or Friendster, acting like as if you guys are on very close terms. Beating round the bush saying all the very nice things. For this, you should be prepared. In most cases, they'll either ask you to do stupid surveys or voting, ask you to send them songs, or do some stupid things for them. After completing the task for them, you try to talk to them but they wouldn't even want to reply your messages or give a f*** about you later on. And that's how realistic people are. Thou I really dislike these people, but not to deny the fact that me and you are like that at times.

Despite the some negative sides of friends/people, I do have many bunches of good friends that I know I can befriend and depend on. I hope I can meet more of such nice friends.

Limping back, but still alive.

2009-02-14T23:41:00.004+08:00

First of all, Happy Valentines' Day to all!

I'm listening to Love 101. It an awesome album! Anyway, I had my V'day with poly friends Roy, Melissa, Hannah and Aisha hanging around Marina Square, just walking aimlessly. We didn't hang out for very long, but it was good enough meeting up with them! Didn't meet them for almost 1 year already!

The 28km route march wasn't that easy as i've thought! Started ard 10.30pm and ended at 5.45am. It wasn't tiring at all, but damn freaking painful. I almost died at the last 6km at the NTU route. NTU students will know there's a freaking steep slope there. I didn't know how did i tahan-ed the 28km with lots and lots of blisters on my feet.

Anyway, it's all over. But i'm still back into that same old camp! Continueing my journey in ASLC (Advanced Section Leader Course) still in Charlie coy after completing the basic one. I bet it's gonna be even toughter! Seeing most of my friends leave to other units yesterday made me feel a bit of sadness. Familiar faces are still there.

Reflections/Thoughts
During my days in BSLC, i knew i changed alot. Becoming more and more short-tempered. And even witnessed people with many personalities in many situations. Selfishness the most i've seen. But still, I still know who the good friends are.

Meals time are still my favourite. I can say that my cookhouse is the best! I've enjoyed the food throughout my whole course. The cookhouse aunty is fun loving and pretty too. HAHA.

For myself, I've learnt many things. Many leadership and management skills. Knowledge and many others. Last but not least, to be nice but yet be smart.

And here's a few pictures when we went Zouk.

in the mood for love.

2009-02-08T19:11:00.008+08:00

Yes, it's Valentines' Day! I even bought myself a compilation cd for love songs! Can't wait for it to come soon! Nah, i don't have any date lah, but i'm just referring to my passing out day from SISPEC on that day, supposedly if i don't stay back for any advanced course! It's just so coincidental! Good luck for my 28km march then!

Hmm. I've been rather busy with army and life, so it explains the lack of updates. Yesterday, went out hanging around Marina, before heading to Zouk which have like no queue at all. Met a couple of my army friends. Drank quite abit, reaching home at around 4.30pm.

Anyway, sharing some photos from this year's CNY.

Happy CNY!

2009-01-27T00:30:00.003+08:00

First of all, wishing all of you a very good and enjoyable CNY!

Had reunion dinner yesterday over at my uncle's house. Had the usual steamboat. Was supposed to hang over somewhere to chill. I headed home, waiting for decision to be made. In the end, I waited way too long and decided to just stay at home. What a day.

I just came back roaming the streets along the empty shops with Weili and Felix after visiting my uncle's home for a mini gathering for CNY. The aunties there had lots of Canto/Mando oldies karaoke singing over there. Played with my niece and my nephew as they stucked onto me all the while. Lol. Young children are really cute.

Tomorrow's gonna be the big day, a long day. And also, tomorrow's be my dad's birthday! The plan is to suprise him with a cake in the restaurant. But later in the night, gonna book in again. :( Probably update some photos on the weekends.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!

Like a kid.

2009-01-24T22:53:00.019+08:00

I used this old photo to describe how happy i am now.

Today woke up as happy as a kid. I really can't figure why. But it's something good, isn't that good? I was so hyperactive in the house, jumping and going around the house disturbing my parents. Was even worse when some CNY songs was played. LOL.

I then met up with Felix and Weili as usual, with the main intention of buying some last minute CNY clothes and stuff. Luckily enough, i found a shirt to my liking at Bugis, despite famously-known being fussy. Am also contemplating whether to get a Esprit watch that caught my eye long before. There's actually quite a list of other things to buy, but I don't really have time.

With such a happy mood, I can actually go to more places, but Old Chang is feeling the fatigue. So we headed home. Ohh, saw Valerie while walking up the MRT escalator. I didn't knew she's back from overseas already. She's funny and still as small-sized as before. I had a short chat with her. See? What nice day i had. Hah.

Since I'm that high, decided to post some pics.

Felix's 20th birthday @ Aquamarine, Marina Mandarin Singapore & Dbl O

Everyone's eating happily!

Felix da birthday boy.

Weili, trying to act decent.

Kokboon, savoring every piece of food placed in his mouth.

Kelvin, as usual the clown.

Leeleng aka Lau/大嫂, repeatedly refused the camera.

OMG.

Shaoqi, the one always fooling around.

And thats me in red.

The shiok and thick chocolatey fondue.

And even more pics..

Not over yet, still more pics to come..

LOL.

Favourite.

This is Golf Alpha Yankee. Opps. :P

The ambience was great.

I personally like this pic of theirs.

Cam-whoring in the toilet like girls. LMAO.

Hmm. I remember we had fun that night. So much fun such that joked around like nobody's business and took pictures every now and then, despite it being a classy restaurant. I liked the few group shots we took, they looked great.

But its only alright to splurge on such places once in a while, as the bill totalled close to $500 for 7 of us. The moment felt good, but when the bill came and I paid, I felt the heartache. We all treated Mr Lucky Felix for this meal. It was one of the best dinner/birthday/gathering i had. :)

Awkward silence.

2009-01-24T00:00:00.005+08:00

Had supper with Bryan and Chun Hong at Rochor Beancurd. Anyway, I've just back home today. I have not slept in bunk for quite a long time already. Thinking of it, I've actually been in outfield/fieldcamp for almost 3 consecutive weeks. Lost about 3-4 kgs. Everday sleeping average for only 4-5 hours. I'm seriously worn-out. And that's probably the reason why I don't have any mood for any occasions now.

Lost count of time, and suddenly CNY pops up. I have not even bought new clothings yet. Great.

Army aside.

Recently, I've been thinking, wondering, pondering. It seems that I don't know everything about some of the so-called best friends, good friends or buddies of mine that I've known for years. Some of them decide not to reveal, and I have to hear it from somebody else, or sometimes, be the last to know. As a supposedly close friend, I'm unaware about that. To me, it's quite disheartening.

I guess I'm probably too much a blabber mouth, a happy-go-lucky person or just simply f-up, so much so that they think I'm not able to safe-guard their secrets or personal issues. But of course, it still goes down to individual on whether you're willing to share. Sure enough, I'm not blaming anyone for this, as I know everyone will definitely have a piece of their secret garden.

I had a sudden rush of emotions when i first heard it, so decided to express my thoughts. Nothing serious, actually. Really. :)

welcome to the 11 club.

2009-01-10T19:15:00.008+08:00

Yeah, it has been a not-enough-sleep-everyday week, with like about 5 hours per day. My face looked damn worn-out. The whole week has been filled up with tiring outfields and activities almost everyday, ended up dozing off at most of the lectures. Everywhere i go, i sleep. This aside.

Two things worth mentioning.

First, my IPPT! I'm a tiny bit more to getting that freaking silver. 2 more chinups. Thinking back, i've really improved tremendously since BMT where i did real badly. Im now at least running (almost died) in the 11 mins range (my first time!), and jumping at least 230cm, and some other improvements.

I know it's no big deal, many others could easily do it, and be better. But it's a big deal for me and it's more like a personal achievement for me myself. And i'm proud about that. Currently, I'm already contented but I'll definitely try harder to get my first silver award! I don't remember getting any before, or maybe i did when i was slimmer in primary school. Sad.

Next up! I finally got my first specialist pay. Scared the shit out of me man! But its good! I'll definitely stay in this course for the sake of the pay! WAHAHAHA!

Taken on Christmas Day with the whole load of them, with Tricia's polaroid. We had our lunch at some restaurant intro-ed by Caleen.

Tired.

2009-01-04T20:37:00.002+08:00

Going off back to camp real soon. Just woke up from a nap, as i was really too tired for anything. This week has been real hectic, i should actually be mentally prepared for tougher events to happen.

Went shopping around with the usuals yesterday. Watched the movie, Bedtime Stories. It was really cool and hilarious, i'll recommend you to watch it. Was actually supposed to meet up for lunch as arranged by Caleen. But as usual, there're a couple of them that will '出 pattern' but that's alright. We're like friends for so long.

Updates again next week.

Welcome 2009!

2009-01-03T16:19:00.005+08:00

Hey wazzup man! It's the end of the 2008 and have already started on 2009! May this year be better and smoother than the previous year for me, and for everyone of you! For Shawn to be a better person, I have some new year resolutions in mind, hopefully those could be done.

And let me start by saying briefly how I 'celebrated' the countdown for 2009. I remember booking out the afternoon, went out with Weili and Felix, had a bit of shopping, watched the movie Ip Man. It sure was a great martial arts action-packed movie, with Donnie Yen demonstrating the Wing-Chun fist.

Later in the night, I dragged myself back to camp. I was the only one soul in the whole company, was actually quite scary and sad, spending it like this alone. But it's okay. Then I prepared for the next morn's guard duty. It was a 'experience' thou.

Let's not talk about army stuff!

I'll just upload a couple of recent photos, I'm actually quite lazy for the rest of them.

Samson's birthday.

I'm a kids magnet!

Renoma underwear for my christmas present. :D

I have a new wallet now! It's more like a card holder. Mum bought it using some vouchers i think. Anyways, thanks! :D

Suay. Sian. Shit.

2008-12-31T15:19:00.006+08:00

F.

This week has been bad, feeling damn emo and down for these 2 days. Why should everyone be enjoying, while I'm there doing shit? But now i've thought over and got over with it.

Life still goes on, I'm still doing shit no matter what, isn't it? I've to sacrifice to protect the nation and you! Hah.

Happy New Year! I'll update more things again. Ciaos, back to camp soon! :)

PS: Last but not least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALEEN QUEK!

With pride, we lead?

2008-12-25T01:47:00.003+08:00

Just booked out today, luckily for Christmas. Settled a couple of army stuffs with Bryan driving around after bookout.

Btw, my rank's no longer considered Private. Many would have read from the news. There's a new rank for SISPEC trainees, SCT (Specialist Cadet Trainee), we're the first batch to have this. Rather SIMILAR to those of OCT (Official Cadet Trainee). Anyway, the only best thing about this new rank is probably the pay rise. (No big difference, actually.)

Btw, I'm in Charlie company. Holy shit, the most siong and garang coy in SISPEC. Most of them says "Good Luck", upon hearing. So, really good luck liao.

Fortunately, I've got a couple of familiar faces in my platoon.
The upcoming weeks will be deadly, i strongly believe. Pray hard for my survival, i'm serious.

If only Lt. Eva McKenna was my PC, how siong also no problem. Heh.

HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! :D

GG-ed.

2008-12-21T23:06:00.003+08:00

My journey as a spec officially starts tomorrow in SISPEC, Pasir Laba Camp, which is located somewhere at Boonlay. From Serangoon to Boonlay.. Awww.. :(

Good luck to me anyway! Pray that everything goes smoothly, and may all my friends come in the same coy/platoon/section with me.

Merry X'mas, everybody! (now x'mas meh? no mood leh.)

keep walking.

2008-12-20T13:03:00.003+08:00

Went out with Bryan and Chunhong during early afternoon to Vivo. Bryan bought a Levis' jeans using the $50 jeans trade-in promotion. Anyway, we walked the whole of Vivo, and i finally had Mega McSpicy. It was really huge and damn spicy!

Hanged around for awhile more, before I went to meet up with Weili. We went to Fareast. Bumped into Meiting twice there, and she called me "Eh botak!", for the 2 times. I'm not really botak leh, i just have shorter hair, that's all! :D

Kok Boon wanted to join us for shopping after work, but its kinda too late by then. So we headed to Hougang to have McDonald's together with Felix who have just booked out. (He's booking in again tomorrow! Sad-ed. :D ) My appetite has indeed really really really increased, after the days in army. SHIT, more exercises!

Btw, I'm now posted to SISPEC! BUT WHERE IS MY MP VOCATION?! Damn. I worry about my future days in SISPEC. GG liao lor. Good luck to me man!

Homecoming

2008-12-18T23:36:00.005+08:00

"Reach for the stars, so if you fall, you land on a cloud."
- Kanye West.

Yawnssssss!

2008-12-18T21:33:00.008+08:00

Went for the gym today. Had a run and did some exercises for my lats and arms, hopefully i'd improve for my 2.4km run and chinups. After that, was about to meet Bryan and Chunhong who have finished swimming at the pool beside the gym.
We waited for some time before we found out we are at 2 different places! I'm at Hougang and they're at Anchorvale! It's damn stupid lah! Then we went to AMK to have hokkien mee and walking around, buying food along the way like as if we're some tourists.

And yesterday is a damnnnnn longggg day. Tiredness to be included.

Met up with Jinyi to visit our ex-colleagues at SGH. I think they're quite happy to see me and my botak head.
Then went off to Great World City, to finally use up our Ben & Jerry's voucher given to us, when we were working. Mine's damn nice, waffle with double scooped icecream. Heavenly.
Went home, slacked awhile before heading to have a mini platoon outing.
Met up with them at Cine to have our dinner at Pastamania. And for the whole of yesterday, we just walked around Orchard aimlessly.
Walked to Wisma. I bought a cheap fedora/trilby hat at CottonOn. Hah!
Then to Taka. Shopped around. Some left, some joined after a while.
Walked back to Cine. Hanged out at arcade, still deciding what to do. Decided to play pool.
Then I saw Jasmine from Bowen Sec/TP. I think she's grown prettier lah. She approached me first, i didn't knew she was beside me! She's was so happy! Actually i am too, cuz we didn't have a chance to meet in TP, so considered many years never see her already!
Walked all the way to have Selegie Beancurd. Everyone was sweating, as it was a warm night. Everything was damn shiok, especially the youtiao! I swear i'm going back again! :)
One of them wanted to clear bowels, but he said his butt wanted to settle it somewhere more highclass. That time was also nearing midnight, so most toilets are closed. And so, because of that, we walked to all the way to Raffles City to settle his business. And the toilet isn't that great lah.
Then we walked to Esplanade. Sat down talked cock for some time. All kinds of things! :P
Walked to Clarke Quay, visited ex-MOS which was closed down. Now it's called Zirca.
Bought Mac, and sat down on the bridge to talk cock again. And also looking at girls crossing the bridge and along the way. And definitely not forgetting those drunk ones. :)
My Serangoon buddy buay tahan liao, so we took a cab home at around 3.30am. The rest of them are still there when we left.

And so for the whole night, was just walking around the streets of Singapore. Bye.

PS: Good luck for my posting tomorrow! :D

chinese. emo. songs.

2008-12-17T00:26:00.012+08:00

Been listening to the same old emo chinese songs these days, probably due to the fact that my bunk mates are emo-ing with chinese songs played in there. Ronald Cheng (鄭中基) and Eason Chan (陈奕迅). 2 of my favourite male singers.

Take some time to load the vids, they're ALL seriously nice. Guarantee plus chop, plus free gift. Heart-wrenching songs, dudes, watch it.

鄭中基 - 絕口不提！愛你

鄭中基 - 戒情人

鄭中基 - 你的眼睛背叛你的心

鄭中基 - 別愛我

郑中基 - 别让我心疼

陳奕迅 - 預感

陳奕迅 - 淘汰

陳奕迅 - 愛情轉移

Empty

2008-12-16T18:12:00.000+08:00

Went to the gym today. I was alone, but the weather was great. I found my fitness had indeed improved because of army. Thou it was exhausting but I sprinted for 3KM! It is my greatest record! But after that, my legs felt sooooo wobbly.

Anyways, these few days has been super bored.

Last sunday, went to my uncle's house to celebrate the birthday of my cousin's baby (complex relationships. the baby's my niece?). They finally saw my botak hair, and was commenting about it. Lol. Had a great chat with my cousin and her husband. Was damn fun, the uncles and aunties went on having their Cantonese karaoke sessions. Really had generation gap man! But was nice songs!

After that, they played the DVD with photo compilations of all the festivals and occasions we celebrated together, from the 80s all the way till now. Me and my cousin felt damn embarrassing looking back at those toot and obiang days. But its good lah, a contrast to now. Heh. Didn't take alot of pics, so quite lazy to post.

Then after that, I went to have supper with Bryan and friends. Went to many quite alot of places before heading somewhere at Tiong Bahru. And I just came back to the same old place because my uncle stayed at Tiong Bahru! Sat down talk cock till 2am. Sure did have fun.

And tommorrow..
Meeting my ex-colleague to visit the colleagues at SGH. Probably be going out with my usual platoon mates. See how it goes. I'm actually waiting for some photos. Waiting for the Standard Chartered 08 event and our Platoon BBQ photos. And probably some other POP pics.

Nights out.

2008-12-14T11:16:00.006+08:00

Yesterday night, or should i say this morning, we went to Dbl O. Before that, we had our dinner at Shokudo located at Heeren. Not too bad lah, although i've heard negative comments about it.

After eating, we walked to PS to watched Bolt.

I must say that Bolt is quite a nice movie. It's actually also quite funny. The characters are darn cute, i swear! Especially Rhino the Hamster! He's full of tricks! For me, I didn't regret watching it. Haha!

Some screenies from the movie..

Hmm. After the movie, we made a long way to Dbl O. It was Retro Night, best for me! But I think there are quite a lot of people outside our age group, sooooo.... quite sian lah. I was quite afraid that someone would say "Wah boy boy, so young come Dbl O ah." Lol. On the dance floor, we were singing and dancing to the songs, like so crazy! I think it was me and Felix! Haha.

The night wasn't really enjoyable, i guess, except for some nonsense we did and said while we were 3/4 drunk.

We probably had too much to drink. I'm still fine, just feeling tipsy. FELIX is really owning! He was leaning onto the walls, with the unstable walk, talking loudy and saying NONSENSE! Kelvin's dad was good enough to drive us home. If i'm sober enough, i remembered he said lots of crap in the car! I roughly could recall what "nice things' he said. LOL. And I think i was laughing away in there. So paiseh lah!

Everything will reveal, when the VIDEO comes!

Btw, I've got a phone from Mum! Don't ask for the price, and how i got it. You don't want to know it, Kok Boon right? HAHAHAH!

PS: I'm quite sorry to the people i spoke to on msn when i got home. I think i'm a bit too high, and I believe i was talking lots of shit, so don't mind ah. :D

POP LOH!

2008-12-13T13:04:00.018+08:00

Lazy bugs were just all over me, so thats why i didn't update my posts. Many would have seen my uber happy POP pics from my Facebook.
Anyway, I just POP-ed last Wednesday, 10 Dec, a damn significant date for me.
We're all so happy during the parade just as if we've already ORD-ed. LOL.

But I just have to mention that the 24KM route march was indeed a tough challenge for me, and probably most of them. This time, I wore double socks, but it was only able to drag the time for the blisters to form, not able to prevent it. At the 16-20KM, huge blisters was forming on both feets. It was really painful. While walking the last 4KM, I was that close to giving up. Others felt the same as well. Luckily, we endured and encouraged each other.

But during the march, it was fun as well. Pushing each other into the mud pools (not mud puddles) and trousers getting wet all the way till knee levels, and singing stupid songs like Pokemon and Spongebob Square Pants.

Crap done, and let the pictures talk. (Botak pics finally revealed!)

On a side note, whenever i book in, I love the BMT motivating banner with one soldier in No.4, looking in the eyes of one girl, that writes..

It's not what you leave behind. It's what you gain in the days ahead.

Yankee Boleh!

Mum and me.

Old and Young Lee.

I quite like this pic.

A couple of buddies.

Platoon 3, Section 4. Best of all.

My buddy!

Us with Jasper and Rayson.

Too much fun for the group photos!

POP LOH!

Me and Mummy.

Sifen, Simon, Wilson, Liquan, Me and Wee Lye.

All the 2LTs. Thanks 2LT Sunny for not confining me! LOL!

2LT Ali. The person who talk lots of sense and inspired me the most.

Afterthoughts:
These 3 months in army has made me learnt and seen alot.

Who are the nice people, who are the fucked up ones.
Who revealed their true colours in worse times, who didn't.
Who really helped you out when in need, who just stood there with folded arms looking.
You'll just meet all kinds of people in there.

Fortunately, the final bunch of buddies I have are the good ones! Great to have known them and whole of Platoon 3 04/08! :D

PS: Last but not least, I really really really (can't emphasize any further) gotta thank Mum and Dad every week for like washing up my army clothes (other than the rest in the washing machine), etc. Especially my field camp week, with muddy clothing brought home.

THANKS FRIENDS & FAMILIES FOR ENCOURAGING ME ALL THESE WHILE! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! :D

Finale.

2008-12-06T12:11:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was my last bookout already. I've cleared my entire cabinet, which makes my bags damn heavy! I had a hard time unpacking them too, whole load of stuffs! Anyway, that was one very special bookout, as I've experienced a bit of reluctance, in some way or another.

I remembered me whining away about NS then, but now at a blink of an eye, 3 months has passed so damn quickly. During this period of time, I made new friends, learnt, experienced and did new things, had fun and shit times. I'll never forget those days.

These few days were fun. Because of the POP parade rehearsal thingy, i made even more friends. And because i was the water parade IC, people from the other platoons even knows me and my name! I don't even know them lah! Like what my buddy says, I'm a small celebrity now! WAHAHA! And in my coy, including me, there are 3 Shawn Lee(s) around! My buddies kept calling our names, and we didn't which one are they calling!

Just like the day before yesterday, we had a bit of free time. A group of us gathered to tease and made fun of some "under-the-hate-list" people. We sure were daring enough to do all that. And we managed to taupok-ed some others. Haha! It was really fun!

Things that I've always enjoyed doing while in BMT.

- Coming back from breakfast, and witnessing people running back to bunks. And running to the toilets with toilet rolls under their armpits, snatching the pathetic 6 cubicles. The winner could then, *ehem*, "clear" first. Of course, I'm definitely one of them. It's one of the most enjoyable thing you do there, and many agreed to it. :D

- Going to the cookhouse for our meals.

- Gathering in our bunks during our admin/area cleaning time to talkcock, or eating our food away.

- Singing crazily away while playing music with speakers, in our bunks.

- Taupok-ing or blanket-partying some other people. :)

- And doing some other stupid but fun stuffs, be it me or the others.

Yesterday was our school's Games Day 08'. Sun was scorching, and i'm even darker now. Well, that's not really the main point. The main point is that i'm really happy to have a mini Vistarian Gathering there! Gathered/saw Benjamin, Bryan, Aaron, Junlong, Shaoqi, Desmond and George there from all different coys. Even watched a soccer match with Jason. Was really fun yesterday.

Coming back, my days in BMT was great. Things that's gonna be missed with definitely be the friends/buddies who have went through with me. And not forgetting all those fun/shit we've experienced during the good and bad times. It has to come to an end when I'm in the process of bonding up with the others. All the buddies..

My buddy.
Bed buddy.
Sections buddies.
Training buddy.
Suckcock buddies.
Talkcock buddies.
Singsong buddies.
Dance buddies.
Sleep buddies.
Eat-snake buddies.
PSP buddies.
Eating buddies.
Bookout buddies.
etc..

Shit. Feeling emo liao lah! :)

Rush.

2008-11-30T16:09:00.002+08:00

My whole family left for Genting with the other relatives on Friday night. I'm left with the whole house myself. Judging from the things I've done, I don't think I'm able to live alone by myself. :)
And my feet, which is blistered from the 16km march, is still hurting like hell.

Yesterday, I went to meet Jiamin and Bryan for lunch at Sushi Tei at Thomson Plaza. Was my first time there and was quite impressed by the food. Then we to meet up with Felix, Weili and Shaoqi before proceeding to Sim Lim. Weili left and we went to Sitex 08 at Expo. Was seriously far away! Luckily they bought something there, if not it's sure a wasted trip! We then went over to PS to have some Pizza Hut feast, and 3 of us watched the movie, Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Was not too bad afterall, except some parts of the movie wasn't that realistic. But as a whole, it was still a rather humorous one.

Not long ago, I just went to buy some foodies back to bunk. And it's alot! :D

ROAR!

2008-11-28T22:26:00.007+08:00

Rewarding. Satisfying. HAPPY.

This week is just as what has been described. Probably a little shag and tired, because of all the exhausting activities over the week. And most of the important events are over!

Other than that, few reasons why I feel great for this week is because..

I FINALLY PASSED MY IPPT! It just feels like I haven passed my fitness tests for a long time, since sec school/poly! Although it's not the holyshit Gold or Silver, but its good enough for me now. The feeling is damn shiok man! I could book out earlier than most of them! 1 more chinup and running 20 sec faster, and I'll be a Silver already! Work ~~hard~~ harder, Shawn! :D

The commanders told me I'm Platoon Best. I told them my physical so cui, how to be best?! Then they told me it's based on everything, the overall performance. Of course, it's an encouragement for me, but I somehow still can't believe it. There are many others who are more capable and competent than me! But still, let's hope it's real alright!

Last but not least, 'm POP-ing soon loh! I'm finally left with about a week! But I definitely would be missing those people and life in there!

disappointing.

2008-11-23T13:38:00.004+08:00

This week was shitty, and suay. Like the title says, i'm was really disappointed with myself.

With such important role given, I ended up cocking the whole thing up. The worse thing is that it even happened on the very first day.

Thinking back, simple tasks like those could be easily done by many others. Then, when i thought hard and cooled down, and finally led things back to the right track, that suay and serious incident had to happen! Worse of all, blisters with all sizes on my feet with extreme extreme pain had to come. I still had one that is blood-filled. My movements were so restricted. I'll never forget how he said "Fuck off", when i made that mistake.

Anyway, the 3 days there made me reflect on how well my leadership skills are. Organisation sucked, management sucked, planning sucked. Made me consider hard, my suitability. But still holding on to a bit of hope. All these together with that incident, i've fully regret for what i've done. I could, and should have done better. My expectations wasn't meant to be like that.

But of course, what's over is already over, i wouldn't brood over it. Fortunately, I did gain tiny weeny bit of pride back when we were back. As commonly mentioned, "Too shag, can't think", could somehow be used to describe my situation.

On a sidenote, I've gotten my company photos. At a blink of an eye, I have 2 more weeks left to POP. Time flies, isn't it?

I like to move it!

2008-11-15T23:41:00.006+08:00

Initially i thought the plan was to go Zouk-ing, which that was one of my motivations to pass thru the 6 days field camp. Next week then... Coming back, I went out with few of the usuals (who else, then?). Finally had them to walk around Bugis. Only got to buy just one berms. Was rather disappointed while asking the uncle for size 30.

He spoke and gave the you-know-one-lah look, "Boy, you sure you can fit in size 30 anot, I think you 32 or 34 one leh." I was thinking, "Am i that fat already anot?!" And, before he passed me the bag, he's still not giving up and is still doubtful about the fact that I can't fit into it. He took and measured around my waist, and was finally assured.

Anyway, later on we moved on to MS and met up with Kelvin and Leeleng in the cinema. We watched Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. Although the movie's running time was rather short, but it sure was very nice and hilarious. The characters was cute too, esp the baby cub. And there were also credits given to Bernie Mac in voicing, at the end of the movie. But a pity he died, he was a great comedian then.

Ending this post, I'll definitely recommend anyone to watch this movie! It's nice!

My name's so nice, you say it twice.

wah! song song gao jurong!

2008-11-14T22:10:00.010+08:00

Came back from my 6D5N 'holiday'! I lost about 3-4kg! Happy happy!

Just reached home (the BEST!), FINALLY bathed and cleared my... *ehem*. That was a total test of your rectum's power! And i'd never want to settle it there again, trust me! 6 days leh! So song now! :)

Basically, i came back with lots of wounds, blisters, abrasions and insect bites. Most of the time, i'm quite filled up with mud, soil, dirt, sweat, rain water and camo cream. I've seen and did the grossest and most disgusting thing in there. You wouldn't dare imagine. Colours i see everyday are always green, black and brown. I hate it when dusk draws, there's no light and you see nothing.

Something to add, most of us developed heat rash. It's the worst experience of all! Feels like thousands and millions of needles poking your skin, literally, all over your body. I'm serious! Totally unbearable for us.

And I'll never forget that particular uber uber uber shivering cold and rainy day. That was the worst of my life! But also not forgetting how i spent that wet night with those buddies! My buddies said that i snored damn loud! I didn't have snoring probs for close to a decade already! I must be really tired then! Sorry buds! :)

And also that one evening where we received letters from our loved ones. Even before the letters were given out, one buddy just cried for whole 30 minutes! And i would conclude that CRYING IS CONTAGIOUS. And yes, I CRIED, in fact most did. Initially i was guessing the reason why was everyone tearing. Not long after, tears unknowingly just fell down like nobody's business on my cheeks, while reading the letter Mum wrote. I felt a sudden pain and aching in my heart. Has been a very long time since i've teared. I'd say it's the atmosphere. But the scene's real funny, with whole bunch of guys crying together!

Although this trip was very tired, shag and shitty, but it was indeed a great memorable and fulfilling experience for me. I've actually learnt many many new stuffs, and great to have did things i've never did before. Somehow had fun there lah, with the buddies. I'm happy to have went thru this!

But if you ask me, 'Since so, would you want to do this again?'

I'll answer, "GO THRU THOSE SHIT AGAIN??!!!! HELL NOOOOOOOOO! :)

yeah?

2008-11-08T15:49:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna rant that i have only 1 sec more to go for my 2.4km run to pass for my IPPT!!

but heck lah, what's over is already over. ytd night went to orchard area and roamed around with my bunch of army friends. went to play arcade and pool, and ended up watching 007: Quantum of Solace. Was rather shitty except for the main characters who are really hot. One is good looking, the other looking damn pretty. I actually dozed off at many parts of the movie! Stayed up late all the way till 3AM, dudes! It sure was fun before going for my "holiday"!

Went out to get the standard, common and cheap Casio watch for army. But mine was a cool and rather unique one. Looking retro with its gold outlining, I kinda liked it. Then went off to meet Felix for lunch.

Bye guys! Heading off to my 6D5N "holiday"! Wish me luck! :)

No?

2008-11-02T15:17:00.005+08:00

The recent giddy spells are getting me real worried. Am I dying soon?!

Please don't! I've got lots of things undone yet!

happy halloween!

2008-11-01T23:56:00.003+08:00

Too shag to even think.

Got to book out yesterday night. Initially was going to River Valley for some supper with my platoon mates, but i pulled out at the end. Felt quite guilty too. Was really really exhausted after the 1½ days of shit, but with only less than 4 hours of rest in total. But I feel this week is really well spent with my buddies, with craps and nonsense as usual. There was one night where i indeed fell onto the floor, laughing all the way until the other end of the corridor, because of some nonsense i saw one of my buddy doing. Till now i still can laugh when i think about it! It's really dumb! :D

But it's still quite an emo week. One buddy just broke up (i can't help him much since i've no experience), one has some gf problem (sigh!), two others are some problematic creeps (f.....s). But i feel that i'm bonding even better with some of them. Like what some say, "suck-cock buddies". Err, that's just a term and mere description, not literally... :)

Anyway, today went to meet with a couple of platoon mates coming from all sections. The combination was really weird, but surprisingly we still can click. We started from Beach Road a.k.a army market, buying some stuffs we need for the upcoming field camp. Then headed to Bugis for some shopping. Had quite alot of things i wanted to buy, but just didn't have the "fate" to own it. Hmm. Some left, some others joined. Then we walked to PS, had some fun in the arcade. Haven been there for quite some time but still enjoyed it. Had our dinner, and finally met Weili and Felix at Vivo.

Ending this post, just wanna mention that i'm not some Bobo Shooter! Wahahaha! :)

NEVER go full retard.

2008-10-27T16:05:00.004+08:00

first of all, HAPPY DEEPAVALI to all Hindu friends!

Yesterday was very busy day for me. despite feeling a little woozy after the fever, i still headed out. I went to meet them at our usual Suki Sushi for some buffet. People who went were Kelvin, Leeleng, Felix, Shaoqi and Alvin. After finishing, Alvin left and we waited for Kokboon to arrived. This means that my PSP is back to me again!

We wanted to go to some Topman warehouse sales, but Kokboon forgot where or he didn't bring the details along, i don't know. Anyway, we just didn't make it there. Then we went to Suntec, which Kelvin said there's some warehouse sales again for sports apparels like Nike and Adidas. We searched for quite some while and finally found it. Like what Kok Boon said, we took 30 mins to come, and took less than 3 minutes to finish the uber small "warehouse sale". LOL.

Then we walked around MS. I bought some jap instant noodles from Muji, which Kok Boon said just throw it in hot water and it's ready to eat! No seasoning whatsoever needed! I'll try it when i book in later! We then bought the tickets for Tropic Thunder. I left later to have a small gathering with my uncle, aunty and cousins at this canto-based restaurant near Mustafa, in Park Royal Hotel. But i think the price is quite costly.

Had quite alot of great food before i left and went back for the movie. Was very rushing, and we just managed to watch the movie w/o much ads. Btw, Tropic Thunder was very very very hilarious! We just loved it, we just laughed throughout the movie! But i seriously almost slept for the first 15 mins. Hah. Ben Stiller is great! Go watch the movie! btw, you should check out the casts for this movie man, unbelievable man!

You m-m-m-mmm-m-make me happy!

... never go full retard!

. Now, let's go get those Viet Congs.
. "Viet Cong!"
. What?
. It's "viet cong." There's no "s," it's already plural. You wouldn't say "Chineses..."

it's really freaking hilarious lah! oh god. time for book in preparations! bye!

2008-10-26T10:18:00.004+08:00

Marc Anthony - My Baby You

busted.

2008-10-25T23:24:00.002+08:00

today was the worst day of all my bookout days. first in the morning, i got hit on the knee, now having a swollen knee. then i had a sudden fever when i got home. i was freaking sick. i was sick the whole day, with a rather high fever. i was practically sleeping the whole day. luckily no one asked me out.
my face looked shitty. feeling cold this moment, then hot the other moment. had no eating appetite as well. it was really unbearable. but now i'm glad the fever has subsided, if not i wouldn't be able to have the family dinner tomorrow night and to go out with the guys.

okay, time to sleep again.

this slowing moving week was really hard to pass.

sunday book-in blues.

2008-10-19T18:39:00.001+08:00

Thats what my cousin called it. Every sunday this time, every man booking in sure feels this way.

Woke up rather early this morning, and finally seen a doc, despite the viruses still within me for the terrible past 2 weeks. Due to the fact that i'm now part of the army, and the complications of reporting sick outside, i kept refusing to seek medical aid. It's really very ley chey reporting sick outside, i tell you. But the cough is somewhat serious, and it sounded and looked like i've contracted tuberculosis (CHOY!). And also because the running and block nose is (heavily) affecting my breathing during the 2.4km run. Damn. And.. the naggy parents are one of the important factors as well.

Wanted to go out, but the guys went "flying my aeroplane". So, i stayed at home, packing my stuffs surprisingly early. I don't want to get "that" punishment for being late again. Anyways, have to get ready for book in loh! Sian! :(

mood-less.

2008-10-18T23:47:00.000+08:00

The army is filled with emo people, i'd say. This buddy singing this emo song, that buddy telling that emo love story of his, another buddy would be acting emo alone somewhere else. Then, I'll conclude that "emo-ness" is contagious, very.

It's a super long (emo) week and today i shall not rant about what's happening in army. Every NSF is talking about it, it's way too boring. But I must say I had another haircut, it's almost like skin head now, like what most of my bunk mates say. Anyway, I'm shampoo-ing my hair diligently, hopefully it can grow fast (maybe?) soon, again.

Went to my baby cousin's birthday party. Most of my uncles and aunties wanted to take a good look at me. One of my younger cousin went "HAHAHA! How come you go cut your hair?!", the moment i stepped in. I didn't know what expression to show on my face then. Went chatting around with my cousin and some elders, before proceeding down to PS to watch Max Payne with the usual gang. There was some miscommunications with those guys about the movie timings, and also thus had a small tiff with Mum. I was fucking mad at that moment all the way till i reached the theatre. I think i should have even better control of my short tempered-ness recently. Reflecting.

Well, speaking of the Max Payne movie, I'd would describe it as rather lame and "catch no balls" of the storyline most of the time. I admit it's rather action-packed and thrilling, but i'd advise you to watch only if you have no other alternatives. Personally, i don't really like it in whole.

周杰伦 - 半岛铁盒

bad week.

2008-10-11T23:08:00.004+08:00

I just came back from a usual weekend meetup with the guys. We watched Eagle Eye. Was a rather interesting movie, with many incredible events that happened. But the middle part was rather dull, i almost fell asleep.

Yesterday, went bowling with Bryan at his country club. My skills really suck now! I'm quite disappointed lah! Then went to Chomp Chomp to have some (unhealthy but) tasty supper together with Jiamin and Chunhong.

Speaking of the week that passed, it really sucked. Nothing was going smoothly. I know i complain alot every book out, but seriously, there's nothing good to comment about! Last sunday that i booked in wasn't even a good day to start with! I had sore throat and flu! It got better, until it started to worsen during the week and finally worst until i had the plate of Carrot Cake at Chomp Chomp that night. Within the week, there's lots of shitty stuffs to handle and do. On friday, i did almost 140-160 times. Arms almost cui-ed, but i'm still alive and kicking. That was seriously an freaking unlucky day. In all, this week sucked.

Oh ya, Tuesday (7th) was Beatrice's and Valerie's 20th birthday. I texted them birthday wishes that night. Valerie's reply was funny. I first wished her "Happy Birthday" and asked her if she'd still remember me, as this primary school friend of mine might have forgotten me since. She's one of my best female friend in school! Then she replied, "... of course i do, that naughty boy in class haha...". When was i a naughty boy man?! I'm a nerd, i'm a good boy! But I was happy that she's touched by this gesture of mine.

I shouldn't have stumbled upon her pictures. So disappointing.

(finally) out on the streets.

2008-10-04T23:50:00.003+08:00

Woke up super early today. Like 9AM? I haven woke up this early for a very long time (or did i ever woke up this early before?) on weekends.

Slacked around at home until meeting them up around 5PM. We had Kenny Rogers at Marina Square for dinner. We later then met George, Adrain and their girlfriends. We, the NSFs just stood at one corner talking about army stuffs.The chat lasted more than 20 minutes. I could see Leeleng and the girlfriends, looking bored. Actually, most of my friends' girlfriends have exactly the same look! When guys get together, they talk army. I know because i talk army too. :)

Then, we went to watch Painted Skin (画皮) at PS. It was rather a short movie, but it was not too bad, given the fact that i haven walked the streets or watched a movie for weeks already. The movie was not as horrifying and gore like how the movie title suggests. I'm actually quite disappointed because i'm expecting something that would freak me out. I'm a little perverse, am I? There are also elements of love and humour as well, so it's fine lah.

It's sad, so sad. It's a sad sad situtation.

2008-10-03T22:59:00.011+08:00

I just reached home not long ago. Today is really damn damn damn suay. I can only say i'm really tired and worn, after doing all those shit, and getting all those shit. Endure.

Speaking of my before-book in day with Kelvin, Leeleng, Felix, Tong Kiat, Weili and Shaoqi, it was sure fun. We first had our usual uber filling buffet at Suki Sushi, while talk-cocking. Main dish would definitely be salmon sashimi, i just don't want to mention how many plates we ordered. Then we later went to played BattleField 2. It was most of our first times playing it, the game was good and was very enjoyable before my book in time.

Well, the main thing i wanted to say here is that i'm really shocked, damn freaking shocked. Most of them would have read the papers about the NSF who died a couple of days ago.

When i read the papers the other day, i stared hard at the photo. Being very engrossed, i read the article word for word. It took me quite a moment before i confirmed he was the one. The stupefied me stood there pondering. He was my primary school friend, in the same class. Thou he wasn't my very very close friend, or someone i've contacted all these while, but who would want anyone they knows to be in such a article? No one would. Damn.

It's really such an unfortunate event that happened. Friends, take care of yourselves, please.

R.I.P, Weirong.

shiok.

2008-09-30T23:57:00.003+08:00

Today i finally experienced the life of a civilian after 2 weeks of hell. Was so shiok that i'm quite reluctant to say goodbye to it, and book in tomorrow evening. Friends think that i'm so army-enthu, but the fact is that i'm not, as there are many things i can't say. I'll say i'm just army-neutral at the moment.

Started the day with a impromptu visit to the army market at Beach Road with my 2 bed/bunk buddies, Eric and Li Quan. Met many many familiar faces there as well, was so damn coincidental. Was a pity i didn't get what i really wanted. We went off later, i went home.

Nearing 8PM, I went off to Serangoon Gardens to meet up with Weili, Caleen and Tricia for dinner. We wanted Chomp Chomp initially, but decided to have Cafe Cartel instead. Sat down talking cock for a couple of hours while waiting for the heavy rain to stop. When the rain has finally settled down, Caleen suggested we have beancurd at Chomp Chomp.

Usually, the activities done today for Shawn Lee would be considered as "boring". But now for Recruit Lee, it'll be considered as "so happening". Cherish is the word.

Not forgetting to wish Kokboon,
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!
Wanted to ask you along for the Chomp Chomp dinner to celebrate at midnight one, but so sorry i didn't pick up the call! Paiseh! To repay you, i let you play with my PSP for a few more days bah! Haha! :)

Anyway, hope that everything goes smoothly, and that your ORD draws nearer! Sian! But its okay, that also means that im POP-ing soon!

monday blues

2008-09-29T22:25:00.007+08:00

Exactly how i felt.

Was a boring day at home, with a sudden heavy downpour in the afternoon. I had the initial intentions to make a trip to Beach Road to get items that I've lost during my confinement week. Just like how i lost my water bottle on just the 2nd day of enlistment, and worse of all, i'm the water parade IC for my platoon. Imagine the IC infront, holding on to a mineral water bottle and the rest, holding on to the army one. And thats not the only item lost, alright? I just wished i could be less clumsy and forgetful.

Anyways, I cancelled the trip even thou the rain stopped, and even rejected Shaoqi's invitation to go somewhere else. Just wanted to stay at home. I was walking around in my house instead, having nothing to do.

I think the 2 weeks in army do make me change a teeny-weeny bit. Other than being tanned, having some zits on my face, having muscles aches, bruises and blisters all over, I think i'm more or less accustomed to the practices in army.

Even thou there is a water heater here, i still bath with cold water. I couldn't sleep last night, bet I've already gotten used to the bugs-infested bed. I think i woke up around 5 plus, guess i'm expecting 5bx at 0545, and probably lights-out at 2230 after RO? Shit.

HOME SWEET HOME

2008-09-28T21:21:00.008+08:00

YEAH! I'm finally back home from Pulau Tekong after the 2 weeks confinement! Just came home from White Sands at Pasir Ris. Had Burger King (craved for fast food for 2 weeks already) with Benjamin, Tong Kiat and Shaoqi. Not very used to my computer now, kinda feeling out of place with it now. I now have 103 unread emails lor! And i see guys EVERYDAY sia! Damn sian one, now i still can look at girls. Haha. And I think i can take spicy food now, 'cos sometimes i'm too hungry to even reject any spicy food given. Haha.

Honestly speaking, those trainings do made me fitter than before. Muscular already okay! But i've put on weight, don't know it is muscles or fats! Now i'm 70kg liao, used to be around 66kg! Everyone has gained average 3-5kg in my platoon too! And now i sooooo tanned/burnt, i even had sunburn on my scalp on the first few days lor. And of course, i'm botak now! Damn cooling,

Although training were rather tough, but it was very bearable with new talk-cock-sing-song buddies and friends. Made lots of nice and good people from my platoon, and especially those from my section. And also met some sec sch and poly friends there too! And also, the injection was nothing lor! Don't know who tell me damn pain one, made me scared like shit before it!

Alright, i don't think i could speak any further. In all, i think army life is just really like doing lots of things that you've never done before, and would never thought of doing. It's really quite fun (in some way) provided you have a supportive and nice group of friends, and with a positive mindset.

For more interesting stuffs, you can ask me personally. :)

Pre-enlistment.

2008-09-14T22:52:00.006+08:00

Today was the Mid-Autumn Festival, but I was at home the whole day. Only had zi char with Mum and Dad somewhere nearby.

I probably wouldn't have time to be updating this blog as frequent now. Because tomorrow is my enlistment day already. I'm actually quite fortunate to have at least 6-7 friends enlisting on the same day, but of course in different timeslots. Alot right?! I hope some of them could be in the same company and most preferably, same bunk with me. Being a lil' greedy, i was just wondering how nice and fun it'd be if the whole bunk is filled with all your close friends.

I've almost finished packing my stuffs. Having mixed feelings right now, with my palpitating heart beating wildly and palms that are real sweaty. I bet i can't sleep again tonight. During these while, i thank my friends and my family that have encouraged me for the enlistment, because of these encouragements, i shall be brave and shall overcome my fears (hopefully)!

Bye friends, i'm off to serve the nation! I'll miss you guys! See you in 2 weeks' time! Have your phones turned on at night okay?! I'll be damn bored then! Or you can text me too! Bye! :)